Dear Britney,

in case you wanted to show the world on your 27th birthday that you are no longer addicted to any kinda chemicals, that you are a sane, level-headed young woman, that you are neither cheap nor stupid and that you are as able to make responsible decisions, as mothers should be, at least in trivial issues such as putting on clothes, then, I hate to be the one to tell you, but you just re-defined the word “failure”. No. No, no, no. No. Take my word for it. No. That is a no, as in N, and right after it O. No. Definitely no. No.

It’s Britney, b!tches!

This week in showbiz: after her painfully embarrassing attempt at performing at last year’s MTV Video Music Award show (not causing significant bathos btw) her precautios manager organized her comeback performances in Germany and France, so if she sucks, the Europeans will have to suffer.

Gimme more, Britney!

Britney Spears’ and Kevin Federline’s child custody case was finalized on Friday with Federline receiving primary physical custody of both kids and $20,000 a month in child support. Click here to see the devastated young mother getting desperate for her babies.